You may think I'm crazy, and maybe I am...

You may think I'm crazy, but I think we have decided upon going ahead and trying again. 
I am really taking my chances with getting pregnant again.  I was considered to get HELLP early, and it is likely that I will get sick again (either with HELLP or pre-eclampsia).  I am putting my life at risk if I get pregnant.  I could die, end up blind, end up in a wheelchair...many things could happen.  It's risky for the baby too.  I have been a nervous wreck thinking about it.  I had testing done to make sure that I don't have any autoimmune diseases (they can cause HELLP).  I've been having some joint pain, but the test results came back normal and the doctor has given us the green light.  I feel sad every single day because of the loss of our son.  I've thought about it and decided that if I didn't try again, I would always wonder if we could have been successful a second time around.  And if we didn't try again maybe I would feel extreme remorse, regret, and anger with myself.  So here we go..