Our history together..

In 2009 we conceived our first son.  We were due on April 19, and were delighted!  Everything seemed to be going fine-in fact I didn't even have any morning sickness or cravings, or anything pregnancy related!  It seemed as though my stomach never grew to be very large either.  In December I wasn't feeling very well-I had caught a nasty cold.  I seemed to get through it ok, but still wasn't quite feeling myself.
When I was 27 weeks along the baby was not moving a whole lot.  I went in to have some testing done.  While I was at the hospital, I began having contractions.  They watched me and had me stay there for a few hours and then I was sent home.  Two days later I started feeling like I maybe had the flu.  I had weird stomach pains up high right beneath my chest.  It started on the left side and then on the right as well.  I started feeling back and shoulder pain.  I called the doctor, but figured it was just the flu.  On the 29th I decided that things were not getting better-I went in for some testing.  I got a phone call on February 1st telling me that I needed to come in-things were not good.
I rushed to the hopsital and was told that I had HELLP syndrome.  I would need to deliver that day or else both our baby and I would die.  I had steroid shots, was not allowed to eat or drink, and was given general anesthesia for my c-section.  (My platelets were too low for a regular epidural.  My kidneys and liver were shutting down and the doctors were concerned that I could bleed to death).  I woke after the surgery to hear that our son was well.  I was on a magnesuim sulfate IV.  They constantly were taking blood to check my liver, blood platelets, and kidneys.  (A nightmare for me-I hate needles-and I was bruising horribly)
That evening I got to meet our beautiful son.  We watched as he grew and waited as both he and I recovered from the whole incident.  After I was able to go home, hubby and I went to the hospital every day multiple times to see him.
Hubby and I had gone home after an evening of visiting when our son was 2 1/2 weeks old.  The phone rang at 4 am.  I was in a panic-we were told that he was very sick with something called NEC and may not make it.  We rushed to the hospital.
His bowels had perforated.  He would have to have surgery-and infants do not fare well in surgery.  We cried and waited for the results...he came out of it alive.  We had our hopes up that he would pull through.  We visited him daily, staying with him for hours.  We even visited him in the middle of the night, hoping that hearing our voices would encourage him and let him know that we were there for him.  Things never did get better.  He suffered a level 4 brain bleed and his intestines did not heal.  We held him in our arms while he passed, and feel devestated each and every day now that he is gone.
We are hoping to try again, but there are high stakes and risks..and that brings us to where we are now with this blog.